I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
