I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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