i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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