I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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