Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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