5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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