I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
