belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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