At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
