The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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