The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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