oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
