Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
