dude i'm inner monologue high
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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