I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
