thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
