...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Holy shit dude........stairs
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
