Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
we should paint friendship bongs
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
