i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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