his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
