Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
