I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i now understand why vodka
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