just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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