One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We don't watch enough power rangers
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
They have beer where we have blood.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
