I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
