so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Your cock deserves a montage
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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