why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
