Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
