I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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