so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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