..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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