Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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