My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
