and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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