garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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