I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
