week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
