You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
