Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
