i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
