is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hippo gnu deer
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
