a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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