umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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