My nipple is on Facebook.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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