OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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