BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
