i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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