Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
