I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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