he thought i was a dude.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
