were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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