no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have aggressive nipples.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
